SELF CONTROL...why do we loose it sometimes????

Try IT
Do you like to lose control of yourself? Most people would answer with a big NO. No one wants to voluntarily lose control of himself or herself. We all lose control of ourselves at some time or the other, but it is something which none of us really enjoys or wants...it just happens.

We don't want to loose our temper,then why do we?

The answers lie deep and are not easy to unravel. As human beings, we are always wanting to feel good, happy, safe. And the only way we know to do this is mostly by manipulating the external environment. When the external environment is conducive, when people are cooperative or following our preferences and desires, when people or events behave the way we want them to, we feel peaceful, happy and settled. But this peace is an artificial peace, totally dependent on outside forces which are beyond our control. As and when these outside forces in the environment act in a way that is not conducive to us, or in a way that does not sit well with us, or makes us unhappy or physically, mentally or emotionally uncomfortable, we tend to lose control and erupt, all in an effort to set right those external people or events once again, to our preferences.

The person tends to very effortlessly start shouting,screaming and being abusive physically in order to control everything. Its sounds paradoxical, but it it is true. "When an egoistic part of us, or a deep psychological wound in us is triggered by someone or something, we often have many ways of responding to it. But we have been conditioned and we have been habitually reacted with aggressive anger, or we have habitually reacted with passive anger. We either rave and rant, or we withdraw, feeling hurt. Either way, we feel miserable, and we have no control over our emotions. We hurt others, while also hurting ourselves.the willpower instinct" as quoted in THE SPEAKING TREE.



This is very cordial to understand that if somebody rants,that doesn't mean YOU are at fault,it openly reveals that the person on the other side is vulnerable in his or her strength,it means that the former is at immense fight with the devil part of himself. loosing self control is always one's weapon to summarize his thought of line and dementia. 

How to deal with your self-esteem while others loose their self control?
                                     


Since we agree that we really don't like to or want to lose control over ourselves, the next time you get triggered, when you are faced with an insulting remark or person or situation, or someone cuts you badly on the road, or your spouse or child does not do what is expected of them, stop for a moment, pause, and challenge that part of you, which wants to scream, shout, abuse and lose control. Stop and think if you can do something different. Stop and see if you can act from love, rather than from fear. See if you can change your perception about the remark, person or event. See if you can ignore it or let it go. And when you are able to respond in a manner which is different from your usual manner (aggressively shouting or passively withdrawing), you will have broken some of the power that your ego holds over you, and would have healed some part of your deep wound. When you do this repeatedly, the wiring in your brain changes, from a habitual angry or withdraw response, to a different one. You are then less triggered and more in control of yourself and your life. You hurt yourself less, and hurt others even less. Your relationships, friendships, health, financial status---all start showing a healthy recovery and upward trend, since now, you are in control, and you do do not damage yourself, damage others and damage relationships, by losing control.self control in the bible

        


Next time you are triggered, give it a try. Act differently than what you would normally do...and see how things change, inside you and around you. This is what Dr. Joe Dispenza meant by the title of his bestseller "Breaking the habit of being you".(click to know more about the book)

I hope my Mom learns this soon...she tends to hurt herself more then anyone else so mumma this ones for you   :)

12 comments:

  1. Great post! I should try to implement that in my life.

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  2. Wonderful post..thank you for the inspiring words!❤

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  3. This is an amazing idea! As a mom of two young children, I am often loosing my cool. Next time, I am going to stop and respond with love and not anger.

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  4. I have been trying to make a conscious effort to stay more calm around the kids lately instead of blowing up at them when all 3 boys are whining at me at the same time. These are good reminders and I will keep trying.

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  5. This is such a lovely post ! Highly inspiring and a great remainder for us all . This helps to actually help our mental health as well . Thank you for sharing.x

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  6. This is a great post! This advice is great for the individual and the people around them. Thanks for sharing

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  7. Such a great post! It's never a bad thing to remain poised! Self control always says a lot about a person!

    -madi xo | http://www.everydaywithmadirae.com

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  8. Self discipline, self control are all important. Thanks for the good tips and reminder.

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  9. Very well said. Self control is one thing that is hard to deal with. These are good tips. Good job!

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  10. If we all just stopped reacting to every hurtful comment, we will reduce anger. Self control and discipline are key to anger management. You also have to be prepared to let some things go rather than harboring anger.

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  11. Really important things to remember. We can honestly be too hard on ourselves.

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